“Zealots” - The Fugees
I miss this Lauryn. Rill bad. For a long time, I was pretty much her number one stan but then she had that Unplugged album and it all unraveled from there. Remember the clown face days? Gurl was puttin’ on make-up like she got the thickest brush in MS Paint.
Someone who knew me from back in the day asked if I went to the Lauryn Hill concert last night. Sadly, I had to inform her that I would not pay to wait for L-Boogs to show up 3 hours late with an attitude. I mean…
I will say that she once was fucking GREAT.
Behold, as my odes, manifold on your rhymes
Two MC’s can’t occupy the same space at the same time.
It’s against the laws of Physics.
So weep as your sweet dreams break up like Eurythmics
Rap rejects my tape deck, ejects projectile
Whether jew or gentile I rank top percentile,
Many styles, more powerful than gamma rays
My grammar pays, like Carlos Sanatana plays
Black Magic Woman
“Year Of The Dragon” - Wyclef Jean featuring Lauryn Hill
In the year of the dragon lots of men disappear
Quiet as it’s kept they won’t be back next year
This is probably the least uplifting song to celebrate the lunar new year, but Lauryn has a slick and brooding deliverance here. And Wyclef… well, he’s just Wyclef.
“Be With You” (Remix) - Mary J. Blige featuring Lauryn Hill
See my love anoints all your joints in the erogenous points
I make ya tipsy, read your fortune like a gypsy
So lift me to this plateau and don’t forget the chateau
Cause you without me just ain’t natural
“When It Hurts So Bad” - Lauryn Hill
But whoever knew the voodoo you’d do?
No one can warble like Lauryn. No one.
“Little Drummer Boy” - Lauryn Hill
Now this is an acceptable Christmas song cover. But please get Rosie O’Donnell outtah mah face, outtah mah face.
“Lost Ones” - Lauryn Hill
Now don’t you understand man universal law
What you throw out comes back to you, star
Never underestimate those who you scar
Cause karma, karma, karma comes back to you hard
I’m trimming out some of the psycho-drama-bullshit-fat out of my life, you guys.
Someone tried to step to me this weekend with some serious paranoid, made-out-of-thin-air, no-sense-having drama VIA TEXT MESSAGE. Like, really? You’re going to wait two days after something I supposedly did IRL, and then passive-aggressively work out your psychosis behind your phone while you sit in your little crazy chair?!
NO THANKS, YOU DELUSIONAL BITCH.
Little Miss Demented has a history of starting latent bullshit wars via text, email, and Facebook. You know, something she can hide behind. I can’t. No more. I had to Stop. Drop. Shut ‘em down, open up shop because this laughable bitch was trying to spit some serious venom. Don’t you know you can’t come for me? You just lost one.
“Nothing Even Matters” - Lauryn Hill feat. D’Angelo
Never forget how epic this love song is… never ever.
Can you snap along to the song? Can you?
This is me right now.
Today I:
- woke up phenomenally hungover.
- overslept and showed up late to help Juanita move.
- actually had to help move instead of complaining and critiquing.
- had to deal with South Korea losing to Urugeigh.
- could not hit my notes while singing in the shower.
- got sassed.
- sassed back.
- shook like a schizo.
Nap time, f’rillz.
