Deep Thoughts by Choronda Handy

On my current work trip I am learning that the most depressing part of these travels is that I’m forced to eat dinners alone at restaurants. There isn’t really any other option besides getting takeout. Tonight I decided to dine at a beachside restaurant that isn’t too far from where I’m staying. Of course, I unknowingly selected a popular restaurant that was fairly nice with a bustling crowd.

Outside of the crippling embarrassment of dining alone next to a large dinner party (a birthday dinner at that… they fucking sang ‘Happy Birthday’ right behind my back -_____-), I came to discover a few things about these solo dinners:

1. Without a set of eyes across the table, you have no shame in eating every last fucking morsel of food. Oh, is that entire loaf bread and appetizer meant for two? Don’t give a fuck. \(‘————’)/ Who’s gonna call you fat for eating dinner for two all by yourself when no one is really looking?

2. Despite the lack of scrutiny on the massive amounts of food you’re eating, you still feel rushed. I found myself eating my four-course dinner at disturbingly alarming rates just so I could get the fuck out of there.

The point is… my stomach is blown. And also… don’t be like me.

(I won’t mention that I ordered dessert to go. Shhh.)

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9. thekelsmith said: When eating alone I arm myself with an attitude of superiority, as though I am soo cool I must eat alone. Also, I arm myself with several books or magazines so as to avoid accidental eye contact while people watching, ahem…judging. It sucks. (HUG)
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13. boywondernate reblogged this from choronda and added:

    not be eating alone. Seriously.

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15. ray-ray said: Rich, you are becoming more of a fatty like me every day. ^^
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