1. When you go to remove the scarf you’ve been wearing all morning (during a meeting) and shards of frosted sugar come pouring out from that donut you ate earlier.
And then proceeding to eat those shards of frosted sugar.
“Year Of The Dragon” - Wyclef Jean featuring Lauryn Hill
In the year of the dragon lots of men disappear
Quiet as it’s kept they won’t be back next year
This is probably the least uplifting song to celebrate the lunar new year, but Lauryn has a slick and brooding deliverance here. And Wyclef… well, he’s just Wyclef.
For all of you single people (and not-so-single-people, evidently) out there that partake in online/app dating:
Do you ever find yourself having embarrassingly shallow moments where you just want to be incredibly frank to people with shady photos trying to throw game your way?
I’m not trying to hate on you seemingly nice guys (actually, maybe I am) but is it really that hard to make your profile photos NOT seem questionable? When I see your profile, my face shouldn’t be doing this
or this
and especially not this where I have to actually put my hand to my face.
C’mon, let’s face it- the reality is that dating websites and apps are largely about your photos. Am I right? I mean, if I look through 20 of your photos and I still haven’t got a damn clue what you look like, you’re clearly doing it all wrong. Below are some shallow thoughts that I legitimately had while perusing profiles of guys trying to step to me:
1. Excuse me, do you have at least ONE photo of your FACE that’s not taken from like, 6,000 feet away?
2. I’m sorry but are you scared of the light? Because every photograph of you is taken in the shade, or in a very dark room, or in a corner.
3. Is that your hand or is that a claw?
4. Oh, where did you get that wig? Oh, that’s not a wig? Oh, ok.
5. That’s a lovely photograph of you playing video games while you’re not even facing the camera. Sexy.
6. Cool, look at all these group shots with really hot people… and you. Srsly though, learn to sell yourself.
7. Um. Why are you sitting under a bridge on a blanket? Are you homeless or a real-life troll?
Would it be wrong to be so frank where I actually communicated these thoughts to these people? I’d be a total dick, right? Probably. But I don’t know, there’s just something about the internet/app dating that makes me more critical and candid than in real life. I’m just saying, COME CORRECK, people. The internet is not that hard.
“Just Right Tonight” - Aretha Franklin
Billy Preston is killing it on the keys as Aretha digs deep for the vocals on this epic blues-inflected tune co-written by Quincy Jones. She starts singing at about halfway through the song (3:30).
Oh, it was okay yesterday, baby, it ought to be just right
Just right tonight
‘Cause what I got is called the good stuff, baby
Have you got a good appetite? Yeah
GPOY: SUPA DRUNK CHAOS POSING WITH EXTRA BANJI EFFECK
edition
“No Love” - Erykah Badu
When I first met you
I could hardly see
But now I’m blind, for real, baby
I wish you knew how to rescue me
Da-de-ya-dup-dub-dub-day
From this misery
GPOY: This illustration reminds me of my childhood but I had less frown and a fro cut so it was more like
edition.
(Source: broodclipje)
Choronda’s 30 Best Songs of 2011 Playlist.
A few things:
1. A few friends of mine suggested we individually compile the top songs of 2011. Here’s my list.
2. Making a ‘Best Of’ list, let alone a playlist, is massively hard. I think I spent the past four weeks whittling down a list that started at 200 songs. The mission was to have a ‘25 Best’, but I just couldn’t let go of some gems. I’m at the point of going batshit crazy where I add, remove, then re-add songs repeatedly so I thought it be best that I just cut myself off and call it quits.
3. Songs continue to be released. Way to make it harder, Common.
4. No repeat artists were allowed, unless they were guest artists on a song. Sorry Bey, I would have had a majority of your album on this list otherwise.
5. No songs over 7 minutes. Sorry Marsha Ambrosius, but ‘Far Away’ is far too long.
6. Songs are in no particular order, except by playability so that it runs through like a playlist. Arranging ‘Best Of The Year’ songs is another challenge since there are a number of genres to blend.
7. Destiny’s Child made the list… although they are performing separately… on separate songs… and Michelle is only a guest artist. Oh well.
8. I think 2011 has been kinda shitty overall, right? Musically though, A SHIT TON of good music has been released this year. Incidentally, a lot of it happens to be depressing.
9. Anyone who knows my taste in music knows that I’m a big fan of ballads and mid-tempo songs that have a soul / R&B / hip-hop groove. I almost always prefer B-side songs to chart-topping singles… unless it makes me really want to duck walk or something.
10. You can download the playlist here, or click through on the image.
Mom’s Drunk Presents: How The Grinch Stole Christmas
As read by 29 Tumblrs.
Sooo, I was kind of drunk when I read my part but let’s be honest, who wasn’t? Also some of the phrasing and almost-alliteration made me slow shit down so that I could get through it.
As I watched the video while nearing my death due to food poisoning last night, some miserable human being said it sounded like it was my first time reading. ORLY?!
WHATEVER.
FLAWLESS.
GPOYW: Nailtipflips with her Michelle Bachman eyes and me with my lolegant Korean sweater with attached hoodie
edition.
